It’s complicated!

Okay am I the only twenty-five year old stressing about love or are you wondering what’s wrong with you too? I have been in four relationships and the only thing I can say is ‘I don’t wanna do this anymore’. Believe me that’s exactly how my relationships end. I look around and all I see is people getting promoted, or married and having kids.. it makes me wonder what am I doing wrong. I don’t get this life thing anyhow! Why are there so many rules and things which we ‘have’ to do to be accepted by this society? Why can’t I just drink and let it go, forget about it.. live my life the way I want to?

There is so much pressure.. to get the right job, to get the right person, to live this life the correct way. I mean who is deciding the correct way anyway?

Let single people be single, let gay people be gay! How hard is that?

Also.. am I the only person questioning my sexuality at this age? I guess we tend to look the other way when things don’t seem to work out the old way. I personally don’t feel anything wrong about that. There have been times I have felt completely comfortable around guys and there have been times I felt so insecure and weak, that I couldn’t just figure out what’s wrong with me.

But that’s alright. We learn from our experiences and we learn as we grow.

The most important thing that I realised during the whole process was actually the same old ‘self-love’ thingy! I know right! It sounds so boring and common and people these days can’t SHUT UP about it. I used to take it as a joke too. But something changed me. I am in love with myself.. and the interesting part is.. this kinda love doesn’t scare me away. I have full control here. I am the boss lady.

Apparently they say that when you fall in love with yourself, the right partner comes along. No I’m not trying the whole self-love thing to get that ‘someone special’ for myself. I’m only doing this for the confidence it gives me, for the strength that I feel when I’m by myself and you never know, if I’m lucky enough I’ll find somebody who’s just as crazy and weird as I am.. maybe a girl!

There is no time line. If something’s meant for you it’ll find a way. Of course you gotta stay true to yourself for that to happen. I’m trying and hoping, but for now.. it’s complicated!